I don't thinking it's asking much in life that any milk cartons in the fridge have at least some milk in them and that bags in the cupboard have more than crumbs. However, that seems like a pretty tall order for certain individuals I know...

Seriously, I came home from work today to find that there's not a bite to eat or a drop to drink at my place right now. And it's not for lack of grocery shopping -- I did that not two days ago. No, either we've got a serious rodent problem or somebody has been making a serious effort to eat me out of house and home.

One guess who that would be.

Nice try, Pest -- you have to be a lot cuter to pull the innocent act off around here.

Honestly, this has been a problem since day one, but it's been getting much worse recently. I mean, I'm barely keeping up with the cost of living in this city, and having an 800lb. eating machine sitting on my couch all day isn't helping things one bit. There has to be some way for you to start pulling your weight around here (instead of just adding to it).

Hey, I'm the victim here... you know how hard it is for a monster to find work here in this economy? Did you ever stop to think that this massive consumption is merely a symptom of a deep depression brought on by my current situation?

By your own admission, you've never worked a day in your life! You really have to have been employed before you can be "un"employed, Pest. You know, if things are so bad for monsters here, you could just pack up and go back to where you came from...

Out of curiosity, what exactly do monsters do for a living? Do you guys really get paid to hide under kid's beds and jump out of their closets?

Hiding under beds and jumping out of closets? Please! I'd never work in the service industry -- the hours stink and the pay is lousy. Besides, it would be a waste of my advanced education.

I already told you that I can't go back home. I didn't ask to come to your world, you know... I just sorta did. And now I can't find my way back. It's just another complication that fuels my obviously deep and troubling depression.

Well, it's safe to say there's no portal in my couch, or you'd have found it by now. I haven't seen you looking anywhere else.

Seriously, I can't keep on shouldering the entire burden around here. Consider putting some serious effort into helping out, Pest, or I might just sell you to the circus for a quick buck...

(P.S. Thanks to Kyle for adding the capability to post pictures inline. Hope we didn't abuse the privilege too much.)